about

nonpunctual.org word count = 18204

1. Brock Walters is nonpunctual.
2. No one asked for any of this.
3. He’s too late to be publishing his first web site.

Glutton for punishment? Here’s more…

glossary Link to heading

Alphabetizer 🔡

Things must be alphabetized. (It sometimes feels like a sickness.)

I know the alphabet.

If I am trying to remember something, like someone’s name or a place I’ve been or a restaurant, I’m usually going through the alphabet & when I get to the letter, I remember it.

I knew I wasn’t alone in this the 1st time I ran ls.

Bad Engineer 🚫

The 1st time I ran ls at my 1st real technology job was way too late in my life. Why? Because me & UNIX are roughly the same age.

My 1st gaming console was Atari Pong. My 2nd was the Atari 2600. I got 1,000,000 points on Asteroids.

My 1st computer was a Commodore SX-64. I learned BASIC, made sprites, dice-rolling games & music.

Breakfast Enthusiast 🍳

Cereal: probably not that great for you after all. But, there is no denying that cereal is the “Breakfast Of Champions™” nor is there any denying that my hometown is the world HQ of Wheaties™.

If you're asking yourself: "Why would anyone build the world HQ of anything in Minnesota?", then you must not be aware that Minneapolis exists because it was the flour milling capital of the world & that's why the Pillsburys have a really, really nice house on Lake Minnetonka.

Email Champion ✉️

Sometimes people complain about the communication systems they are forced to use. Especially at work. Microsoft Teams (Microsoft “anything”, actually…) is a favorite punching bag.

Also a punching bag: email. Why?

The plain-text email system (along with algebra, calculus, computers, fire, flight, geometry, the lever, photography, regular expression syntax, the screw, UNIX, the wheel & writing) is one of the great human achievements. (There, I said it.)

I've had people say this (almost exactly) to me:

Congrats bruh or ma'am. You just invented email.

Food Pundit 🥘

I do like food. I care about food. I like to cook. Both my mother & grandmother were very, very good in the kitchen. Mostly I put this here so I could use my favorite stupidly-named emoji.

Half-hearted Educator ✏️

I know some things. Not as many things as people think I know & definitely not as many as I’d like to know.

I believe in freely giving away knowledge if you have it. That’s a nice thing to do.

I’ve had piano students. (This is hilarious.)

I’ve taught certification courses & created course content at Jamf & Fleet. Yay, me.

Hat Admirer 🎩

I have a silly amount of hats. I like the idea of them. I don’t wear them all. I would have more but hats are dumb. I also feel this way about electronic musical instruments, gizmos & vintage electro-mechanical keyboards.

Knows How To Say sudo

Late Person ⏰

This is infamously well-documented. It’s the main theme of my life.

Am I proud of it? No.

Do I come by it honestly? Yes. My father was a very, very late person. I think, overall, maybe later than me.

Do I believe that it’s my worst trait or anyone’s worst trait? No. I forgive people who are not on time because, morally, I have no choice but to do so for the amount of time I’ve made people wait for things.

Do I believe that certain people unfairly succeed in the world because their main skill is punctuality? Yes & it’s ridiculous.

Time is an artificial construct. If you are always on time, I may hate you.

Minnesotan 🟣

Philosophical Pretender 🧐

I minored in Philosophy. People sometimes think this is like: standing in the arbor, wearing a toga, debating the meaning of capital J “justice” or capital G “god”.

For me, it was a lot of computer-y stuff, logic, math & science.

Steve Martin has the best line about studying Philosophy & it is 100% true:

Plain Text Note-taker 🗒️

See above.

Also see: https://jeffhuang.com/productivity_text_file/

Recovering Musician 🎹

I majored in Music Composition.

There’s a lot to say about this, but this isn’t the right place to say it. The right place to say it is everywhere else this web site.

Wanna-be Dog Owner 🐶

I once had a lovely Lulu & a delightful Donut. I sometimes wish I had another dog but I don’t know that I can handle losing another dog.